Fear is normal.

Fear is Normal.

While talking to lola about a decision that I am about to take (or maybe not), I realize that fear is normal. Existing in this challenging world could trigger fear. Comprehensive examinations, research papers, and oral presentations are also fearful.  Going out of your comfort zone could be fearful. Everything could be fearful! Shookt. Even, love? Haha.

If there’s an important thing to remember about these things, it’s this: Fear is based on your perspective.

Fear, when taken positively, becomes a challenge.

Fear, when taken negatively, becomes a threat.

Fear, when consumed, stops you from learning.

Fear, once ruled your life, prevents you from growing.

Fear could take away important learning that you could ever have. Not going out because it might rain may stop you from being productive. Not chasing your dream job could also let you get stuck to a mediocre life. Not following your passion may take away a part of your life. There’s a lot to lose when you let fear rule over your life.

Still, fear is a sign of being mindful about the possibilities that could happen. It could be a warning or a soft reminder before making decisions. It could always give you more options to choose from. Fear can only mean that you are a normal human being—that you get scared about the things that might happen.

Okay lang matakot, pero sana lumaban ka pa rin.

Right now, I am at the point in my life when I am also fearful of the things that could happen when I say yes to a big project. It’s my first time. But, I also fear what if I miss this project because of this fear? Wahhh. I do not know.

What I do now is to pray for it. I may have plans but the Lord has better plans for me. I know that God will never give me challenges that I couldn’t accomplish. I always pray to God to increase my faith and to increase my super power to do things for him.

Nakakatakot, pero sana kayanin kapag and’yan na.

Isipin mo ‘yung mga bagay na meron ka na sana ngayon kung hindi ka natakot.

So help me God.

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Musings on Solo Traveling

It was my first time to travel solo, last February 22-23, 2019, in Iloilo and Guimaras. I never expected to learn so much from it. It brought me back to my roots. It dragged me to my former self. I remembered that I am just a mere being in this huge world.

I agree with what Abbey Sy said, “Traveling humbles you and makes you realize that you’re just a tiny dot in this big world.”

These are my musings after I traveled solo.

When you travel solo, you travel with the real you.

You don’t have to pretend who you are. You don’t act the way people expect you to. You are just being yourself. No pretentions and spices called lies. Every single thing you do along defines who you actually are. Everything is just so natural.

As I travel, I realized that I am still the KIM who I used to be. A kind of person who laughs, jokes, giggles, and stares at the window side the whole time.

You discover your strength as you journey.

By traveling solo, you spontaneously move with yourself. You rely on yourself more. You learn to become more independent. You stretch yourself to your limits. You finally appreciate how strong you are. Of course, no one is perfectly strong, but at least it’s good to acknowledge that you are a work in progress.

It’s funny how I really cannot place my bag inside the plane. I couldn’t just reach it, but still, I tried. Then, I failed. Fortunately, somebody helped me. I guess, our strength does not only rely on ourselves but in accepting that we need help, too.

You get to know your heart.

As you immerse in your deep thoughts, you are able to listen to your heart even more. You learn to value the simple miracles that happen to your life. You realize how precious a single second is. You also hear the voices inside your heart that you never heard before. You encounter thoughts and dreams that you never encountered.

It’s weird, but I laughed an hour after my solo bus trip in Iloilo. My heart just fluttered. That trip served as a date with myself. Sleeping alone was challenging for me. My heart wandered, but I told it to be still, calm, and be in peace. Thank God, it did.

You value tripod, monopod, and camera-friendly spots.

It’s really hard to take photos all by yourself. You need to strategize on where to place your camera. You need to adjust on the light. You also need to humble yourself to ask somebody to take your photo. I guess, it’s a new learning I wouldn’t forget. 🙂

But then again, before I did this. I still planned my itinerary ahead of time. I made sure that the places I would be visiting are safe, and in public. I avoided remote areas. I also never stayed late at night. Lastly, I never forgot to pray for a safe journey. 🙂

The Art of Saying No

This two-letter word seems the hardest to utter. I always try my best not to say NO because it feels rejecting opportunities along my way. Also, it seems refusal to life’s learning. I have associated the word NO to rejection and negative thoughts. Thus, I am uncomfortable to say this, especially to my friends, and to my family.

However, there came a time when I reached the point when I had to squeeze all my activities in one day because of my numerous YESes. My whole weekend was filled with lots of commitments and hustles that I need to comply with. This happened because I did not say NO. I said YES even if my time forbids me.

My weekdays after work were also compromised, too. I had to meet people for ministrIES I’ve committed myself into (because I believe I can manage everything back then). I compromised the days when I can spend time with my lola who was with me the whole time around because of the talks I’ve accepted as well.

I tried to tie everything in one rope, not realizing that this rope may become loose soon.

There also came a time when I felt unhappy on what I was doing. I dragged myself for the sake of completing the task. I totally lost my passion on my task because it no longer satisfies my spiritual growth. I was drained and found myself ranting all day long. This never contributed to my personal growth. Thus, my co-members in that ministry felt the same. It’s a sign, my thoughts said. Then, we all found ourselves resigning from that group.

It’s true that a simple NO is a YES for the betterment of ourselves.

I also stopped spending my weekends on the events that do not add value to my life. I refused a thousand-peso-worth speaking engagement just because prefer contributing to people who genuinely believe in me as a writer. (My practical self vanished.)

Right now, the art of saying NO is saying YES to genuine opportunities that life has to offer. It’s not about closing the doors. It’s more of reminding yourself that there are times that you need to turn down certain things that could make you worry at the end.

I believe it’s not too late to know where to spend my nonrenewable resource, which is time. Cheers for more time well-spent!

Have you ever felt stuck between a YES and a NO? Share your thoughts, perhaps?